yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
