Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
