I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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