Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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