Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Everclear isn't food dammit
Randomize
