Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize