Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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