you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
