Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
