its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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