So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Slut skills are useful in every country.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
