I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
