Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
so explain again why im purple
no
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
