Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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