im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
