Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
