he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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