Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I wish you could order shots online.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Randomize
