end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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