She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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