ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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