I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
