just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
