'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
We need to rekindle our bromance
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
