oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
