the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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