I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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