To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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