i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
