he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
