Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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