For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
