At least make sure they are 18
Why
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
