I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
