Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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