i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
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