I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I want to fling myself into the sun
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