shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
