Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
