I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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