do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
