Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
