After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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