Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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