they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
