K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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