Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Sorry my hands just texted you
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
