I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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