You're my little dorito
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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