my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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