i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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