i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
