I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
