The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I supernannyed him into submission
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
