Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize