I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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