Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
