I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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