I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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