apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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